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Yes there is! No, there isn't!

I heard many stories in my life from all sorts of ways. However, there is this one story I heard from a pastor that really touched me from within. But before sharing the story, lemme give you a little background of one of the greatest battles I have in my life:

One of the dearest persons in my life is an atheist. I don't condemn his kind, it is just that, now that I learned to know the truth about me, as a human being created by our ever Loving God, being able to feel his divine embrace and care, being able to know that I belong to Him as His child, that my life was redeemed because of His grace and love... WHO AM I NOT TO SHARE THIS GOOD NEWS? HOW SELFISH I AM NOT TO TELL THIS TRUTH TO OTHER PEOPLE!

I have this responsibility in me that pushes me to tell this good news to the person that I really care about. I struggled and got into so many conflicts and contradictions with him. I researched painstakingly for facts to present to him just to prove that God truly exists, for that is our primary source of argument. As a baby Christian, I was not patient enough and failure always approached me. I always fall into the enemy's (satan) trap and that is to fight with the other person, most of the time, violently like at the end of the heated argument, I just find myself crying because of too much anger and feeling really guilty because of uttering and throwing piercing words. I felt like I was a hypocrite as what he perceived me to be, not being able to be patient and objective. I felt guilty because I acted as if I didn't represent God in any way. I felt as if I was a soldier by words and not by faith. Oh I just felt so guilty and ashamed before God. Then, I tried to question myself, maybe I wasn't ready for the battle. And the battle shouldn't be basically in that form. I realized I wasn't prepared...

But how??? I prayed persistently to God, day in and day out, asking for His guidance to win over the battle or at least win over my weaknesses...

Until one day, I heard a story from a pastor about two inseparable friends. They were inseperable since they were young until they graduated from college. One was a believer, and one was not, which was not a big deal at that time. They shared everything, from food to clothes to books, to money, name it. Until they went their separate ways. The nonbeliever after so many years was converted to Christian and at one occasion, the two friends met again. They became nostalgic of the past and the once non-believer said that he felt a little bad for his friend for not sharing one thing to Him which for him is the greatest of all. And that is... not being able to tell him that God loves him. Suddenly after hearing that, the friend who has been a believer from the start, felt mixed emotions. He felt guilty for his shortcoming as well as happy for the conversion of his friend.

When I heard about this story, well, I think I cried a thousand oceans. I should've told him that "God loves him" which I suppose he hasn't felt from the people whom he expected would love him. Instead of pushing the idea that God exists, I realized that I should've told him that God loves him and He wants him to take the path towards Him. Instead of representing anger, I should've represented and shared God's love and not fret and other kinds of reservations. Mea culpa! I was rebuked. God has given me so much love through the people who love me but as for him, he didn't feel that much loved as I did. That maybe is the reason that he doesn't consider God as his creator. I think I owe him(my friend) and HIM a big one.

Until now, he hasn't accepted the idea of God's existence even though I told him the story and the truth about God. But I am still optimistic. God works in wondrous ways and I am waiting for His time to come. I know he doesn't forsake my prayers.